


For You

by danceofshadows



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-29
Updated: 2013-08-29
Packaged: 2017-12-24 23:41:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/946069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danceofshadows/pseuds/danceofshadows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An evil sorcerer curses Arthur and there is only one way to break the spell. Warnings at beginning of story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For You

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Attempted suicide. May be a possible trigger. This is my first work of fan fiction of anykind and would appreciate concrit! Also posted to ff.net under same name.  
> The song is Bleeding Out by Imagine Dragons

I’m bleeding out  
So if the last thing that I do  
Is bring you down  
I’ll bleed out for you  
So I bare my skin  
And I count my sins  
And I close my eyes  
And I take it in  
I’m bleeding out  
I’m bleeding out for you, for you 

Arthur wasn’t doing well. Every pained moan that escaped his lips was like a knife blade in Merlin’s heart. His destiny was to protect this beautiful man and right now, he was failing. Arthur was pale and sweating, lost in fevered daydreams brought on by the sorcerer’s enchantment. His muscles seized and his back bowed off the bed as another wave of pain rolled through his body. His mouth opened in a silent scream and Merlin ached to hold him against his chest and take away all the pain. He ran the cool cloth across his king’s too hot forehead in a vain attempt to bring his temperature down. Brushing a lock of hair off Arthur’s forehead he had to resist the urge to keep running his fingers through the silky strands. 

When the day has come  
That I’ve lost my way around  
And the seasons stop and hide beneath the ground  
When the sky turns gray  
And everything is screaming  
I will reach inside  
Just to find my heart is beating

Merlin stared out the window in Arthur’s bedchamber, watching the rain fall from the grey clouds overhead. He hadn’t moved from his vigil beside Arthur’s bedside since this whole nightmare began. He tried to swallow the guilt that threatened to consume him, but the attempt was largely unsuccessful. He should have moved faster when the sorcerer appeared in the Great Hall and pointed his staff at the king, but the air had become heavy and he felt he was moving through quicksand. He managed to reach Arthur just as the golden haired man collapsed onto the cold stone floor. The knights were shouting as they were released from the spell that held them immobile. They ran towards the threat to their king, but they were too late, the man had already vanished in a cloud of red smoke.   
“Arthur,” Merlin had called, gently shaking him, trying to get a response. “Come on, be alright you prat. You have to be alright!” Merlin could feel Arthur’s pulse under his questing fingers, but it was too fast to be healthy and his skin was too warm to the touch for Merlin’s liking. “Get Gaius now,” He screamed to no one in particular and everyone in general. There was a mad scramble for the door as too many people tried to obey. Gaius had examined Arthur in his chambers, but could do no more than attempt to dull the pain. He was pouring over every magical text he owned, trying to find a cure.   
Merlin was pulled back to the present by another groan from the man under his care. His tanned skin was both flushed and much too pale. The fever lent unhealthy color to his cheeks and every inch of exposed skin was soaked with a coat of glistening sweat. He desperately wanted Arthur to open his gorgeous blue eyes and insult him or throw something at him. Anything that meant he wasn’t lying here dying. No, thought Merlin. Not dying. Arthur couldn’t die. Not before he got a chance to tell him how he felt. My life before his. Merlin wished he could trade places with his king. Two sides of the same coin. He just couldn’t lose his other half. 

Oh, you tell me to hold on  
Oh, you tell me to hold on  
But innocence has gone  
And what was right is wrong

Gaius entered the king’s chamber to find Merlin sound asleep on a chair next to the king’s bed with his head pillowed on his arms near Arthur’s head. Gaius sighed and gently placed his hand on his ward’s shoulder, bringing him to immediate wakefulness. “Did you find the cure,” Merlin asked desperately. “Will he be alright?”  
Gaius’s heart ached for the boy he considered his son when Merlin crumpled at his news. “I found a cure, a life has to be freely to be given in place of Arthur’s and we can’t ask that of anyone.” Gaius flinched at the look of speculation that entered Merlin’s eyes. “Please don’t do this, my boy.” He pleaded. “Your life is just as valuable and I know he would not want you to do this!”  
Merlin sighed. “Okay Gaius. I won’t if you’ll continue to look for another way.” Gaius nodded and left the room in relief to continue his research. Merlin dipped the cloth into the cool water and began wiping the sweat off of Arthur’s brow. “Hang on Arthur. Just hang on clotpole. I’m going to save you one last time.” He gently pressed a kiss on his King’s fevered brow. His only regret being unable to tell Arthur he loved him. 

‘Cause I’m bleeding out   
So if the last thing that I do  
Is bring you down  
I’ll bleed out for you  
So I bare my skin  
And I count my sins  
And I close my eyes   
And I take it in  
And I’m bleeding out   
I’m bleeding out for you (for you)

Merlin leaned his back against Arthur’s bed and studied the sharp knife in his hands watching as it caught the light and reflected onto the chamber floor. He reached up and squeezed the limp hand behind him as he strengthened his resolve. He whispered, “Everything I’ve ever done was for you. Every act out of love and loyalty.” He realized it was probably cruel of him to do this here, but he had to make sure it would work. He pushed back his sleeve and studied the pale skin of his forearm. Pressing the silver blade against the cold flesh; then took a deep breath and said, “Freely given. A life for a life.” The knife dug in deeply and greedily spilled the glistening rubies that was Merlin’s blood. The knife fell from fingers that had suddenly lost their strength and Merlin watched the flow of blood from his pale arm. It dripped onto the stone floor into an ever increasing puddle. Funny, Merlin thought fuzzily. It doesn’t even hurt anymore. He leaned his head back and stared at Arthur’s face, trying to see if it had worked. He was rewarded when tired blue eyes fluttered open and looked into his fading ones. He managed a smile and closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift away. He didn’t hear Arthur yelling at him and lunging off the bed. 

When the hour is nigh  
And hopelessness is sinking in  
And all the wolves cry  
To fill the night with hollering  
When your eyes are red  
And emptiness is all you know  
With the darkness fed  
I will be your scarecrow

“No, no, no, no, no,” Arthur yelled as he tried to stop the blood flowing from the ugly gash on the too pale arm of his manservant. “Someone get Gaius!” He shouted, hoping there was someone to hear. Merlin’s eyes flickered open briefly, “For you,” he whispered. “Always for you.” Arthur had to lean in closely to hear, and panicked when his servant, no, his friend’s eyes slid shut. If Arthur was completely honest with himself, he wished he could have admitted his desire to be more than friends before this whole fucked up debacle. Now he might never get the chance. A pair of guards burst in at that moment and Arthur again screamed at them to get Gaius. Merlin’s blood was staining Arthur’s hands a bright red. It shouldn’t be on his hands, Arthur thought. It should still be in Merlin’s body keeping him alive. After what was surely only minutes, but what felt like hours as Arthur held Merlin trying to keep more life from draining out of him, Gaius ran into the room. Arthur turned his tearstained face towards Gaius. “He’s so cold,” He whispered brokenly.   
Gaius felt for a pulse on Merlin’s uninjured wrist and sighed with relief when he found a faint one. It wasn’t too late. Gaius tore off Merlin’s red neckerchief. “Arthur,” Gaius said. “When I say so, you have to let go of his wrist.” Arthur nodded without taking his gaze off Merlin’s closed eyes. “Now,” called Gaius. As soon as Arthur’s hands were out of the way he tied the neckerchief around the wound as tightly as he could in an attempt to stop the bleeding. “We need to get him to my quarters immediately, Sire. I’ve done all I can here.”  
Arthur gently scooped the other man into his arms and held him protectively against his chest. Merlin’s head rolled until it rested on his shoulder. He’s so light! Arthur thought. I have to make sure he eats more. 

You tell me to hold on   
Oh you tell me to hold on  
But innocence is gone  
And what was right is wrong

The distance to Gaius’s chambers might as well have been measured in miles for how long it seemed to take to get there. Arthur had expected Merlin to stop breathing before they could make it. He kept his eyes focused of the labored rise and fall of his chest as Gaius stitched up the wound in Merlin’s arm. “Will he make it?” Arthur asked Gaius in a small voice. “I don’t know.” He replied. “I just don’t know.”  
Arthur frowned at the pale form of the younger man on the cot before him. “Why’d you do it, Merlin?” Gaius answered, “It was the only way to break the curse. He said he’d wait for me to find another way, but I should have known he’d do anything to save you. I shouldn’t have left him alone.” Gaius ended with a strangled sob and left the chamber. Arthur felt his insides twist as he remembered the last thing Merlin said to him before falling unconscious. For you. Always for you. Arthur’s eyes burned with the effort f holding back tears.  
Kings don’t cry, He thought to himself furiously. But Merlin was good at getting him to act in ways he normally wouldn’t. Kings also shouldn’t lust after their manservants, especially when they lay dying. NO, not dying. Merlin couldn’t die. Arthur’s pulse sped up as Merlin made a pitiful whimpering sound and he ran his fingers through Merlin’s hair in a comforting motion. Arthur suddenly felt this small contact wasn’t enough as Merlin whimpered again and he lifted the fragile body so he could slide in behind him, wrapping his arms around him and pressing Merlin’s back against his chest. Merlin’s whimpers quieted and his breathing evened out. Arthur whispered in Merlin’s ear. “Just hold on. I need you to hold on. Please don’t leave me.” Arthur knew he was begging, but he couldn’t stop. He breathed in the scent that was pure Merlin and took solace in every beat of the heart underneath his hand and every exhale near his ear. Irrefutable sighs that Merlin still lived. Arthur knew he was neglecting his duties as king, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t leaving here until he was positive Merlin would be alright. However long that took. 

‘Cause I’m bleeding out  
So if the last thing that I do  
Is to bring you down  
I’ll bleed out for you  
So I bare my skin  
And I count my sins  
And I close my eyes   
And I take it in  
And I’m bleeding out  
I’m bleeding out for you, for you

It took four days for Merlin to open his eyes. Arthur had had him moved into his bedchamber so he could keep a constant eye on him, even while he slept. Arthur missed the exact moment of Merlin’s return to consciousness as he was going through reports of border patrols. A bloody waste of time, Arthur thought. He thought most things were a waste of time the past couple of days unless they had to do with Merlin.   
Merlin’s vision was fuzzy, but he could vaguely make out a form sitting at a table not too far away from him. He opened his mouth and tried to speak, but all that managed to come out was a hoarse rasp. The fuzzy figure was up so quickly and running towards him they knocked over the chair they were sitting on. “Merlin,” A familiar voice asked, “How do you feel? Are you okay?” Merlin opened his mouth and tried to answer his king, but he could not force the words past his aching throat. Arthur seemed to understand the problem and poured a cup of water. He lifted Merlin into a sitting position and slid behind him. Merlin was hyperaware of the warmth of the man behind him. His breath hitched as one strong arm wrapped around his waist and the other snaked around to hold the cup of water in front of his face. He felt Arthur’s warm breath tickle his ear as he whispered “Drink Merlin.” Merlin drank. When he finished Arthur set the empty cup on the floor, but made no move to vacate his spot behind Merlin.   
Merlin turned his head to look into Arthur’s eyes. “You’re okay,” He whispered. “It worked.” Arthur’s eyes flashed with something Merlin didn’t quite catch. “Yes, it worked you clotpole!” Arthur ground out. “Do you have any idea what if felt like when I woke up and found you bleeding out next to me? And from a wound you did yourself! Gods Merlin!” Arthur turned Merlin’s head and captured his mouth with his, forceful and desperate.  
Merlin’s lips parted under his and he grabbed fistfuls of his shirt to pull him even closer. Merlin moaned and slid one hand under Arthur’s shirt, marveling at the feel of the solid muscle underneath. “Clotpole is my word,” Merlin whispered into Arthur’s mouth. “Shut up,” Arthur retorted before claiming his mouth again. Merlin’s tongue slipped into Arthur’s mouth and it was his turn to moan with pleasure and want. Arthur’s hands ran down the length of Merlin’s body and he spread his legs so he was straddling the warm and so obviously alive man in front of him. Merlin felt the hardness of his beautiful king against his back and pushed back into it, hoping to elicit another delicious moan. He was not disappointed. Arthur’s hands continued their exploration and slipped beneath Merlin’s trousers and underclothes in one swift motion. Merlin stopped breathing when Arthur’s hand firmly encircled him. “Merlin?” Said Arthur’s panicked voice in his ear. “Y..Yeah,” Merlin replied breathlessly. “Please keep breathing,” Arthur pleaded, warm against his neck. “I can’t handle thinking I’m losing you again.”  
Merlin’s “Sorry,” was muffled against the side of Arthur’s neck. Merlin began to gently nibble the exposed flesh, earning a yelp from Arthur. Arthur began to stroke Merlin’s cock in long leisurely strokes. Merlin shifted his hips, trying to get Arthur to speed up, “More, more please, Sire.” Merlin panted. Arthur grinned a bit wickedly. “Your wish is my command.” In one swift move Arthur flipped their positions so he was kneeling between Merlin’s legs. He pulled off Merlin’s breeches none too gently exposing the erect member nestled in beautiful dark curls. Merlin reached up and pulled Arthur’s shirt over his head, exposing tanned muscular skin he just wanted to lick and nibble upon. In moments both men were naked and open for exploration. Arthur slid up Merlin’s body, rubbing their cocks together and gasping with the flood of pleasure running through the both of them. Arthur’s lips once again descended upon Merlin’s and their tongues danced against the other’s. Merlin’s hand slid down against their joined bodies and took them both in hand. The feel of Merlin’s hand and Merlin’s cock on his almost made Arthur come right then. He thrust his hips into Merlin’s hands, speeding up the rhythm.   
“Stop,” Arthur panted. “I want to taste you.” Merlin’s eyes widened as his king spread his legs apart. He let out a strangled yell as Arthur’s warm wet mouth closed around him. Swirling his tongue around the tip, Arthur tasted the salty precome leaking there. He smiled up at Merlin from around his cock, and Merlin thought it was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. When Arthur began sucking as if his life depended upon it, Merlin’s eyes rolled back into his head and his breath came in tiny pants. He tangled his fingers in Arthur’s hair and his hips thrust deeper into Arthur’s mouth. When he came it was with a strangled gasp. Arthur’s groan when he swallowed him down would feature in his dreams for a very long time. Merlin smiled at his king and lover. “Your turn.” 

I’m bleeding out for you (for you)  
I’m bleeding out for you (for you)  
I’m bleeding out for you (for you)  
I’m bleeding out for you

Merlin attempted to lever himself from the bed. “Where do you think you are going?” came an amused voice from the doorway. Arthur had returned from his meeting earlier than expected to find Merlin trying to go god only knows where. “You are staying right where you are, Merlin. You are on bed rest for the next two weeks, Gaius’s orders.” Arthur smirked. “Not sure how much rest you’re going to get though.” With a sinful smile, Arthur climbed on top of Merlin and began to show him why. 

‘Cause I’m bleeding out  
So if the last thing that I do  
Is bring you down  
I’ll bleed out for you  
So I bare my skin  
And I count my sins  
And I close my eyes  
And I take it in  
And I’m bleeding out   
I’m bleeding out for you, for you


End file.
